


Crash Into Me

by lotrspnfangirl



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Biting, Blow Jobs, Bottom Jensen, Car Accidents, Emotional Baggage, Explicit Sexual Content, Hurt/Comfort, Hypothermia, Lumberjack Jared, M/M, Mutual Pining, Near Death Experiences, New England - Maine, Rescue, Stranded, Survival, Top Jared, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000, community: wipbigbang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-08 18:07:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4315116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotrspnfangirl/pseuds/lotrspnfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Jensen wants is a fresh start. He didn’t, however, expect to find it in the only other survivor of their bus wreck while stranded in Northern Maine in a blizzard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crash Into Me

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N:** Beta’d by [oldbatj](http://oldbatj.livejournal.com) who is simply fantastic ♥ Any remaining oops are all mine. Written for [WIPbigbang](http://wipbigbang.livejournal.com) and the beautiful art is made by [amberdreams](http://amberdreams.livejournal.com). The art work is absolutely stunning!!! Go and check out her [ master post](http://amberdreams.livejournal.com/335481.html) and leave her the love!!! Feedback fuels the fire!  
>  **Disclaimer:** This is complete and total fiction.

Jensen stretched out as much as he could in the small, cramped space he had been occupying for the last hour and a half. His elbow slammed into the window beside him and he cursed under his breath, shifting again in the faded bus seat, trying to get comfortable. He heard a soft snort of laughter from the seat across the aisle and he threw a glare in that direction. The man in question had his face turned toward the window, his fingers drumming against his thighs in tune to whatever he had blasting through his headphones.

Whatever… If the man wanted to pretend he hadn’t been laughing at him? Then he wasn’t going to push it. The next stretch, however, he made a point to make sure he didn’t bounce his elbow off the thick glass. He looked at his watch again, the face lighting up to display 3:42AM. He groaned, laying his head back against the seat before trying to get some sleep. The driver certainly was not providing him with the smoothest bus ride he’d ever been on. But at least he hadn’t gotten nauseous on this trip. 

He slipped the thin gloves off his hands and laid them in his lap to reach into the worn leather roll bag beside him, digging into the front pocket for his banged up CD player. He threw a glance at the man across from him again, painfully aware of how outdated his own music equipment was, as he slid the headphones over his head. He looked around the bus to see if the driver were the only one other than them who was still awake on this painfully long drive. 

Behind him, an older woman was rhythmically clicking away with her knitting needles, completely absorbed in her task. A younger woman all the way in the back of the bus had a small child curled into her lap, both of them asleep. Otherwise – the bus was nearly empty. Jensen wasn’t that upset about it – at least with so few people, it didn’t smell too badly. He laughed to himself and pressed the play button, soon drowning out his thoughts with the thick southern drawl of Toby Keith. Country music, he smiled to himself, was his not so secret pleasure. 

He closed his eyes, forcing himself to relax. They still had another three hours before their last station… And even after he stepped off of this bus, he would have another few hours of driving before he reached his final destination. He sighed as the familiar pain started to creep up his legs again from sitting in the same place for too long. Buses were not made to haul around people taller than 5 feet apparently and his 6 foot frame was feeling it. He rotated slightly in the seat and leaned his back against the window, bending his knees and lifting his legs until they were resting in the adjoining seat. The small dig of pain in the backs of his thighs from the armrest could be ignored – at least for a little while. 

The window was freezing cold against the back of his head, reminding him of what it looked like outside. He turned his head slightly, taking in the frozen tundra of Northern Maine in the dead of winter. Not for the first time, he wondered if he was making the right call by even being on this bus… Outside, snow was falling softly, everything around them passing by in a soft blur of white. 

Although Jensen had grown up in mostly sunny Texas, he understood that snow wasn’t as innocent as it looked. He had never physically been in snow, but had seen enough news coverage and movies to know how destructive and what a pain in the ass it could be. As he watched it fall against the window, sticking for a second before melting and sliding down into a singular drops, he had to admit it was beautiful. 

Suddenly the bus lurched to the side, causing Jensen to slam his head hard against the cold glass. He cursed, fighting to get his feet back onto the floor so he could sit upright. He slid his headphones back and looked around. The mother and child in the back were still asleep, and the woman knitting was still focused on her yarns. He looked beside him and saw the other man seemed to be the only other one concerned at the sudden unsettling movement. He had pulled back the black knit beanie on his head, pulling the hair from his eyes. 

The bus suddenly swerved again, skidding dangerously on the icy roadway. Jensen gasped as his neighbor’s large, hazel eyes met his, mirroring his confusion and unease. Tearing his eyes away from the stranger across from him, Jensen snapped his attention forward to look at the driver. 

“Fuck!” he hissed as he stared up into the large rearview mirror that stretched across the full width of the windshield. The driver’s reflection was usually clearly visible in it, his winter hat pushed low on his forehead, his eyes barely evident beneath the woven rim. Now however, the mirror reflected only an empty leather seat.

“Holy shit!” he cursed and Jensen leaned across the seats, partway into the aisle. Fear pooled in his gut as he watched the bus driver’s body slipping sideways further off of his seat to crumple lifelessly on the floor. The bus continued reeling forward, slipping and sliding along the wintry road. The driver’s foot was probably wedged somehow and still pressing on the accelerator. Without a firm hand on the steering wheel any longer, the bus hurtled recklessly forward. And then it seemed as if they were moving at a downward angle.

Two big hands shoved hard against Jensen’s shoulders, pushing him back into a more upright pose. His eyes flashed upward, meeting hazel eyes once again. 

“Seat belt!” the man yelled at him, before tossing himself back into his own seat and fumbling for the sweat-stained, oversized belt caught up beneath the seat. Jensen hesitated for only a moment, looking back up to the windshield, only seeing the blinding white of the snow. 

“Now!” the stranger screamed at him. 

Jensen nodded, frantically fumbling with the belt and fastener until the metal clip clicked into place and then yanking roughly on the strap to tighten the belt around his middle. Panic washed through him, muffling the sounds of the man yelling at the other passengers until his voice became a dull buzz. 

Jensen swallowed hard, gripping the sides of the seat tightly, squeezing his eyes shut. He knew the road they were on was an obstacle course full of twists and turns… Nausea washed over him as he realized there was only one way this was going to end… His stomach gave another sickening lurch as the bus suddenly began to tilt, tires crunching uselessly in the snow and ice, trying to find purchase where there was none. Suddenly the tilting became tipping, and then the bus rolled completely over and over again and again….the startled yells of the wide-awake passengers accompanied by the terrifying sounds of metal screaming, and the popping and small explosions of windows shattering and bursting.

As the tilting had begun his body was forced sideways against the seatbelt’s grip. Jensen felt like a ragdoll being thrown about, arms flailing uncontrollably. The momentum of the bus’s awkward rolling flung his body back into the seat and then hard into the window, which shattered on impact. He opened his mouth, he might have screamed… and then there was silence. Terrible mind-numbing silence… 

He looked up, or maybe it was down, but all he saw was black.

“Hey!” The voice was soft, pushing its way into the deepest corners of his mind, sending a blinding pain shooting through his skull. He groaned, trying to open his eyes. His eyelids felt heavy, stuck as if they were sewn shut. “Hey! Buddy! Are you okay? Fuck…” The voice was suddenly replaced by hands, grabbing at his shoulders, ripping at his hips struggling to undo the seatbelt. “Please… don’t be dead…”

Confusion followed the last statement, and he could feel his eyes flutter as he tried to force them open again. Pain shot through his lower back as his body shifted, suddenly free from the belt’s confinement, and large hands grabbed at him again. “Hey!”

“Shit,” Jensen’s voice sounded far away and raspy, his throat burning as he croaked out the single word. His eyes were open in a squint, but he closed them quickly as a bright light blinded him. 

“Sorry…” The light moved quickly away, and he opened them again. He was lying on his back, his neck bent awkwardly against the window. Trying to move made him realize his legs were trapped beneath the man from across the aisle. “Can you move?” The light flashed by his face again and Jensen realized the man was using his brightly lit iPod screen to illuminate their area. 

“I don’t…” Jensen winced as he tried to shift his body, pain shooting up his back again. “I don’t know…”

“Okay, hold on...” the man murmured, pulling himself up onto part of the seat to look around. “We’re going to have to climb out of the back. I think… Looks like the bus is on its side… I don’t think we can climb out any of these windows…they’re really messed up…” His voice trailed off, reaching down for Jensen’s hand. “Let me try to help you up...”

Jensen was stretched awkwardly between his seat and the one in front of it, his bruised and aching body actually resting on the bus’s side wall. The man’s long legs were stretched along the back and side of the seat Jensen had occupied, bracing himself to pull Jensen up and over. Jensen almost laughed. If he had been pinned in the wreckage… he wondered if this man would have wanted to chop his legs off to free him. He shifted again, ignoring the pain and reached his arm up. The man gripped his forearm with both hands, pulling slowly until Jensen was at least in a sitting position. 

“Catch your breath for a bit...” the stranger suggested, looking around again. “I’ll be right back.” 

And just like that the man was gone and Jensen could hear him crawling across the jumble of broken and twisted seats towards the front of the bus. Jensen was now sitting in an upright position, but the angle of the bus made his head spin. He looked down at his legs – something had cut his right leg, blood seeping through his jeans. He tried to reach out to check the cut but wasn’t able to move his left arm at all. His left shoulder was killing him and he wasn’t able to lift his arm. He sighed as he vaguely remembered being slammed so hard into the window during the crash that he heard it break... He looked up, listening. The bus was still running, weird hissing sounds coming from the front. The only other sound was the man grunting as he moved around in the bus’s mangled remains. 

“Is everyone… okay?” Jensen stammered, not really sure he wanted to know the answer. 

“No...” The man was back, perched again on the tangled seats. “We need to get out of here. I’m not sure what’s leaking but most engine fluids are flammable…. I couldn’t get to the ignition and… we just have to go.”

“My shoulder is …dislocated, I think.” Jensen hissed in pain, cocking his head to his left side. “I need it set.”

“Okay...” The stranger nodded, moving swiftly to crouch above Jensen in order to get a firm grip on his left forearm and elbow. Jensen had barely opened his mouth preparing to count to three when without warning the man pulled hard and smooth, popping his shoulder back into place. Jensen’s eyes popped open as he gasped, staring at the man.

“You didn’t even let me count!” he yelled, his voice sounding too loud in the confined space. 

“You can yell at me later, let’s go... Now.” The man smirked at him before climbing back up to stabilize his position. “We really don’t have time. Come on.” Jensen glared at him, a smart retort on the tip of his tongue. Instead, he sighed, reaching up to grip the man’s hand. It didn’t matter – he was right. They needed to get out of the damaged vehicle and the sooner the better. 

As the unknown stranger started towards the back of the bus, Jensen followed him carefully, watching where he stepped on each of the broken seats. He started to step past the woman who had been knitting. Somehow she had at least been able to get her seat belt on. He leaned over her and then winced before turning away. She hadn’t managed to get her needles put aside in time however, and one was now deeply imbedded in her chest right near her heart, only an inch of the metal still visible. Her unseeing eyes were still open as a thick stream of blood trickled steadily from her mouth. Jensen turned away, scrambling to catch up with the man who was kicking at the emergency handle on the now sideways door at the back of the bus. 

“Fucking… piece of… shit…” A grunt followed each frantic kick until finally the metal bar screeched in protest. “Okay. Let’s move. Come here.” The man instructed, shifting over so he was hanging off of the top seats. “And, man… Don’t look down.”

Sadly shaking his head, the stranger’s sorrowful eyes met Jensen’s questioning ones. 

Jensen simply nodded in understanding, realizing that the young woman and her little son were probably crumpled beneath him down between the jumbled seats. Jensen nodded, moving his legs forward and pressing his feet firmly against the door. Planting his hands on the seat behind him he prepared to leverage all of his weight to push his feet against the jammed door. 

He grimaced as pain shot through his shoulder but waited for the man’s say so before he pushed as hard as he could against the door. 

“Okay,” his rescuer murmured. “Push together... 1… 2… 3… Now.”

Slowly, with a loud metallic squeal, the door pushed open, scraping a path through the snow. 

As Jensen stepped out, fat, wet snow flakes fell against his cheeks and melted on his skin. He shivered once, taking a deep breath as he stumbled away from the bus. Suddenly, it was all too overwhelming. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest and he gasped huge gulps of air and he fell to his knees, hands sinking into the frozen fluff. When a hand grabbed his shoulder he lost it completely. His stomach rolled and he pitched forward, vomiting violently into the snow. The hand on his shoulder moved lower, rubbing comforting circles into his jacket back. When he stomach was finally empty, he collapsed, rolling onto his side away from his mess. 

“Hey, we’re going to be okay.” The man crouched down beside him, looking at their surroundings. “We have to find the road again. Follow it. Head back to one of the towns we passed.”

“I don’t even know where the fuck we are,” Jensen hissed, his voice cracking. He closed his eyes, melting snow running down the contours of his face. 

“Come on, man. Up and at ‘em.”

“It’s Jensen.” Jensen opened his eyes again, seeing the man’s outstretched hand, now encased in gloves of his own, waiting to help him stand. 

“Jared,” the man replied, helping Jensen to his feet. “It looks like the bus slid off the road from over there.” He nodded his head behind them. “How’s your shoulder? Everything else okay?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Jensen nodded, wrapping his arms around himself. “I have a cut on my leg...” He shifted his weight on his feet. “It’s okay though, I’m pretty sure...”

“Once we get away from here, I’ll take a look at it.” Jared said, turning back to look at the bus. The front of it was smoking and hissing. Jared sighed. “It’s tipped on the storage hatch. I hope you didn’t have anything important in your luggage… I got this for you,” he reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a hat that Jensen immediately recognized as the one that belonged to the driver. His stomach rolled again, threatening him at the thought. “Are you ready?” Jared asked, pulling his gaze away from the bus and starting up the hill. Jensen sighed, pulling the hat onto his head and over his freezing cold ears. He forced himself to ignore his awareness of the previous owner as he pushed himself after Jared. 

The snow was up almost to their knees, and the backs of Jensen’s calves were burning within minutes. The blood on his jeans had frozen the denim against his skin, and it ripped loose every time he bent his knee. He looked up at Jared, plunging along before him. The other man’s shoulders were heaving, and Jensen was glad he wasn’t the only one tiring as they trudged through the deep snow. 

“Shouldn’t we be at the road by now?” Jensen called out. The wind had picked up considerably, whipping snow at their faces. His face was stinging, cheeks and lips burning. Jared paused, waiting for Jensen to catch up to him.

“See over there?” Jared pointed ahead of them, to the left. “It looks like we were sliding down this hill for a while. I’m assuming that when the bus tipped we must have hit something buried underneath the snow.” Jensen’s eyes followed the direction his fingers were pointing, squinting against the flurry of snow. 

“So… how much further?” he wondered quietly, looking up at Jared, afraid the big guy might think he was whining. 

“I… don’t know.” Jared’s voice sounded hesitant and a bit worried, his calm, strong exterior finally faltering. For some reason, this comforted Jensen more than Jared having a plan. It made him… human.

Jensen looked down at his watch, the face lighting up to display 6:02AM. They had been outside for at least an hour, trudging doggedly up this giant hill. Through it all, Jensen was sore, he was cold, his head was pounding and his mouth was dry. His knee was throbbing and felt just as frozen as his fingertips. He lifted his gaze skyward; above them the snowy night sky was starting to turn a dull, dark grey. At least the sun was starting to rise… somewhere… 

“I’m really cold,” Jensen sighed, eyes snapping back to Jared. “Do you think we can make it up the rest of this hill?” Before them, the hill appeared to steepen and Jensen could see the shine of treacherous patches of ice peeking through the fresh snow. 

Jared looked up making a quick calculation as he took another step before stopping again. “No,” he said after a few moments, rubbing his beanie around on his head. “But I think the hill had just started… maybe if we cross over in that direction, we can meet the road without having to go all the way up a hill.” Jensen nodded and then started following the man as he headed off in the new direction. 

“How are you?” Jensen asked after a few minutes of silence. 

“Peachy.” Jared said, giving him a tight smile. “I’m actually freaking out a bit.”

“Really?” Jensen asked, surprised. “Well, you’re not showing it.”

“Thanks.” Jared laughed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I can’t believe I didn’t take any of my warm snow gear out of my bags and drag it with me onto the bus. We are traveling in the middle of Maine in February after all.”

“Yeah… well, that’s where my good stuff is too... in my suitcase along with a nice warm, down-filled vest… back at the bus… in the storage compartment.” Jensen offered ruefully.

Jared nodded once more. “Yeah…. My hooded parka too...”

They fell into silence again, though it was comfortable. As comfortable as freezing to death could be. Before he could stop it the thought ran through Jensen’s mind like a trickle of ice water and a fresh fear settled in his stomach once again. Swallowing hard, Jensen’s voice quavered a bit, “Do you think…”

“No.” Jared shot him a serious look, studying his face. “We’re going to be fine.” 

Jensen nodded slowly. Weariness was settling deep in his legs and hips, making his motions painful and strained.

Jared stopped again, glancing down at Jensen’s thin gloves before looking around them. “We need to get a fire started.” Jared grabbed Jensen’s arm lightly, tugging him in the direction he wanted to go. “The trees are a bit tighter over here… hopefully that will mean less snow and less wind for us.” Jensen followed him, confused when Jared stopped before a tree, a huge smile on his face. 

“White birch!” Jared laughed, reaching out to rip a wide strip of bark off of the tree. He turned to look at Jensen. “Even if it’s wet… birch bark will burn. Although…Technically it’s illegal to rip it off.” He stared at the bark in his hand for a moment before shrugging. “I’m sure our wilderness survival will be a good defense if a warden says anything ever.”

“Do you get lost in the woods often?” Jensen asked, reaching up himself to pull a wide strip off the tall tree and then assisting Jared with harvesting two huge handfuls of some smaller strips to use for kindling. 

“No, I’m a logger,” Jared said, moving forward to a small sheltered area between a several, large pine trees. He used his boot to kick a circular patch of snow away, revealing the frozen thatch of pine needles covering the forest floor. 

“A logger? Like, what? A Paul Bunyan kind of Lumberjack?” Jensen barked out in surprise. 

Jared snorted, throwing Jensen a look. “I suppose. I own my own logging company and provide lumber for contractors. I’m looking to expand up in Oxbow.” 

“Oh… Your own company? That’s pretty neat,” Jensen said, impressed. Jared smiled at him and knelt down, ripping a large bark strip into smaller chunks. Jensen forced himself to kneel down, trying not to wince as his knee screamed out and a fresh wave of nausea rolled through him.

“Jensen?!” Jared called out, his voice suddenly anxious. “Hold on, Jensen.” Jensen tried to nod, his head suddenly feeling lopsided and too heavy. He was so tired, and sitting felt so good… He could feel himself slipping, his legs folding beneath him. When his sore shoulder hit the ground, it didn’t even hurt.

“Mmm…” Jensen moaned, relishing the burning sensation in his fingers. He felt comfy and sleepy, and was pressed up against something soft and warm.

“Jensen? Are you with me?” Jensen tried to blink, the burning feeling in his fingers becoming suddenly painful, as sharp twinges worked their way up to his palms. “Jensen, come on… Jensen, talk to me.”

“Ja-Jared?” he whispered, forcing his eyes open. He blinked a few times, eyes burning against the blazing white that flooded his vision. Everything was white… 

“Yeah, Jensen, it’s me... Fuck, you had me worried.” Jared’s voice came from behind him and Jensen blinked again, fighting against the white to get his bearings. Jared’s arms were wrapped around him, his hands rubbing Jensen’s to keep up the circulation, to keep them warm. 

“You passed out,” Jared continued, tucking Jensen’s left hand inside Jensen’s jacket and picking up the other one. “I got a fire started, but you were so cold…”

“I…” Jensen stopped, sinking back into the warmth. It was then he realized he was between Jared’s legs, back pressed against Jared’s chest and Jared’s coat was unzipped and wrapped around them both tightly. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“You don’t need to thank me,” Jared said, finally content with the way Jensen’s fingers were pinking up and tucking them against Jensen’s chest. He wrapped his arms firmly around Jensen, holding their bodies even closer together. “Just don’t fucking pass out again. I… I don’t want to be alone.”

Jensen felt a pang in his chest, the tone in Jared’s voice giving away just how scared he was. Jensen swallowed hard, tightening his own grip around his chest. There was a small fire crackling beside them, Jensen saw the curls of bark and pine needles, flaming red before darkening and falling to ash. It looked like Jared had found some fallen pine branches and was slowly adding pieces of those as needed. It felt like heaven after their freezing trek. He let himself relax into Jared, their breathing matching as they stared at the fire together. 

It was funny, really, how he found himself here like this. He watched as a large chunk of the birch bark curled up on itself, cracking and bubbling in the heat as it was slowly consumed by the fire. He swallowed hard as he watched the flame rip through it and then closed his eyes. 

Three months ago, Jensen had walked in on his boyfriend screwing his own boss in their house...in Jensen’s bed. What Jensen had thought would be a romantic and early start to their anniversary weekend ended up with him homeless, jobless and single. Together, they had begun to build a life and as Jensen’s world came crumbling down around him, he realized that he hadn’t been happy for a long time. His life hadn’t been anything like he had imagined, not really. So, he had packed what little he had left and bought himself a one way bus ticket up North. 

His parents hadn’t been thrilled that he had chosen Maine as his getaway. He told them he liked Maine… but in reality? He had simply pulled up Craig’s List, closed his eyes, and clicked on a random state to look for a job. And now, here he was, in the middle of the woods, waist deep in snow, pressed against a man that he very well might die with. 

He was just like that piece of bark, living life one day at a time until life came along and lit him aflame. A laugh bubbled out of him and he felt Jared stiffen behind him. Pain shot through his leg again and he had to admit even that didn’t hurt as much as walking in on his boyfriend…

“Jensen?” 

“I’m fine… Just thinking... I’m just… life, you know?” He took in a deep breath, the cool air sharp against his throat. He swallowed, tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth. “When I got onto that bus I didn’t expect to be surviving a crash and being stranded in the middle of nowhere surrounded by frozen tundra with a hot man keeping my fingers from falling off.”

“You think I’m hot?” Jared tipped his head, his breath ghosting over Jensen’s cheek and making him shiver.

“I think it’s the hypothermia talking.”

“That’s not funny, don’t even say that...” Jared hissed, the anger in his voice making Jensen jump. “Fuck,” the big man swore. The wind had picked up again, snow whipping down upon them through the sparse covering from the treetops. “We need to find a better shelter, a warmer spot.”

“I think we’re going to die out here, Jared...” It was a simple emotionless statement.

Jared’s sharp intake of breath was the only response he got before they fell back into silence. They weren’t stupid… although Jensen was the one with the bleeding gash on his leg, Jensen had seen the way Jared carried himself through the snow, gripping his ribs with a grimace of pain on his face. They were both hurt, they were both freezing.

“It’s not going to happen. I won’t let it.” Jared said finally, moving to disentangle them from one another. “Come on, we need to keep moving. No one is going to find us here and our tracks are completely covered up from the snow. We need to see if we can find the road or better shelter for a while.”

“You really think we should keep moving?” Jensen asked, letting Jared grip his arms to pull him into a standing position. His shoulder and knee were screaming at him and he wished the cold would numb the pain instead of his fingers and toes. 

“I…” Jared bit his lower lip, closing his eyes. “We need shelter. We need fire. We probably need water…” 

“Jared, there’s snow all around us!” Jensen reached down to pick up a handful, the fluffy crystals barely registering against his numb digits. 

“Okay, we will stick close to the tree line in case we need to stop again. I still think if we head in this direction,” Jared pointed before them, to the right of where the bus had crashed. At least, Jensen thought it was to the right… the rolling white hills and tree line looked the same no matter which direction he looked. “We have a better chance of finding the road. We should eat some of the snow… We don’t need to add dehydration into the mix. Just not too much though, because it will lower our body temps.” 

Jensen nodded, sucking some of the snow off his hand. It melted quickly on his tongue, and though it was cold, it felt good as it slipped down his throat. He wiped his wet hand on his jeans before slipping on the thin gloves again and watched as Jared copied his motions. They walked side by side, fighting their way through the snow once again. They walked close together and after stumbling a few times, Jensen allowed Jared to wrap his arm around his shoulders, half holding himself up as well as Jensen.

Jensen couldn’t see anything – the bus was long gone behind them, and if he turned to look down, their footsteps were already disappearing. Part of him hoped that over the next rise they would be faced with the road. The other part of him knew that they should have already reached the road. He tried to push that last part away.

“Jensen!” Jared’s gasp made him stop short, whipping his head to the side to make sure Jared was okay. The other man’s fringe of hair had escaped his beanie and was hanging in thick frozen strands like icicles, his cheeks and nose bright red. If Jensen squinted he could even see frozen flakes on Jared’s long lashes. What he didn’t expect to see was Jared’s beaming smile, perfectly displaying his white teeth, “Look!” 

Jensen followed his outstretched hand, blinking into the snow. He could just barely make out a large shadowy form in between the trees. 

“What--?” He shook his head, peering back at Jared. He had no idea what was so exciting. 

“Come on!” Jared pushed him gently and started off towards the patch of tall trees. “I bet you there’s a cave or something along here…” His voice was soft, most of the sound carried off by the whistling of the wind. Jensen squinted again, trying to see what Jared saw. 

As they got closer, the form began to take shape. Although most of it was covered in snow, large grey rock faces were showing through the snow drifts, thick icicles dripping down them. Jensen stared at them, amazed. They almost looked like a waterfall, frozen mid-flow as the water went pouring downward to crash onto the earth below. 

“C’mon!” Jared cried triumphantly. Jensen turned to Jared, not hiding the surprise on his face. “There’re plenty of caves and crevices in the rock formations up in this part of the state.” Jared smiled, tugging them forward. He peered around one column of ice, the formation as thick as Jensen’s own body was, to see a rather narrow vertical opening naturally carved into the rocky face. 

“Aren’t there… bears… or something?” Jensen suggested timidly, his knowledge was limited on the Northeastern part of the country.

Jared gave him a disbelieving look before crouching down on the ground to peer into the crack.

“I think it should be big enough…” he muttered thoughtfully, poking his head through the opening. “And it should keep the snow off of us.” The ‘hole’ in the gray rock wall was little more than four feet in height. It was narrow at the top though it widened irregularly to about seven feet at the bottom and appeared to extend about eight feet into the rock formation. Jensen tried to hide his disappointment – this was definitely not a cave. Jared, however, was ecstatic. “We probably can’t build a fire inside with us, but if we make one at the entrance, it might heat up the rocks enough…” Jensen watched as Jared’s upper torso disappeared into the hole. He was still talking, his words muffled. 

When he pulled back out, he dragged a large handful of dry leaves with him. “Okay, you stay here and I’ll get some wood.” He pushed himself upright and trudged back the way they had come to the last large group of trees they’d passed. 

As Jared moved towards the tree line Jensen decided to show Jared he could contribute, even if it was only in small ways. He busied himself trying to shape the leaves into a somewhat reasonable looking pile. Finding some broken pieces of the gray stone he built a small, semi-circular windbreak to protect the leaves from the encroaching wind. He even managed to capture several additional handfuls of leaves and pine needles from their small shelter’s floor. Peeling his thin gloves off when the trembling of his fingers ended up inhibiting his grip on the leaves, he worked clumsily but as quickly as possible. Looking down at the pale blueish flesh on his fingers, Jensen tried not to think about how he couldn’t even feel them anymore. 

With a jubilant whoop, Jared reappeared nearly twenty minutes later, lugging several large pine boughs awkwardly behind him, their thick needles sweeping gracefully across the snow. He immediately began tearing up more of the new birch bark he’d collected and starting to snap twigs and branches off the larger boughs. He built a small teepee shape, shoving some white birch curls underneath the triangle. From his back pocket he produced a book of matches. Jensen watched as Jared’s pulled off his gloves, his fingers shaking just as violently as his own had as Jared struggled to get a match to ignite. Jared released an excited cry when a flame erupted from the tip and Jensen tried to feel excited too.

Jensen couldn’t stop the feeling of dread that was coiling tightly in his gut. Jared was hunched over, working hard to get the fire going and whispering encouragement to the small flame before blowing gently so the tiny flame could kiss against the dried leaves. Jensen didn’t know how Jared even had it in him… all he wanted to do was curl up and sleep… snow and ice and cold be damned. He glanced at his watch, 5:25PM, and knew the little daylight they had been graced with would be leaving them in darkness again. It had been 12 hours. 

12 hours in this mind-numbing cold. 

They hadn’t found the road. The small crevice in a freezing, cold stone wall was not really shelter. The fire Jared had going was small, and although it was warm, it wouldn’t last. They were lost… they were frozen...they were hungry and thirsty. Jensen swallowed hard. They were going to die out here.

“Stop! Just stop thinking negative thoughts for a few moments!” Jared glared at him from the ground where he’d knelt to completely tear apart the large boughs. With a tired sigh Jensen shook his head as if to clear the thoughts away and wearily moved closer to help the tall man. Soon Jared and Jensen were working together to stack up all of the now smaller branches close to the entrance, not only to have them near the fire for easy feeding but also as a windbreak for their shelter and to help trap the fire’s warmth in the small area surrounding the mouth of the mini-cave. Jared hung his discarded, damp gloves and his wet beanie on some of the branches, close enough to the fire to hopefully dry them. Wordlessly, Jensen handed his own over and shoved his cold, bare hands under his arm pits. When Jared finally spoke again, his tired eyes were hard. “I can hear you thinking from over here. You need to stay focused, Jensen. Stay positive.” 

“How?” Jensen sighed, defeated. “How can I stay positive? How the fuck is any of this shit positive?” 

“Just…” Jared sighed, pushing the frozen locks of his hair out of his face. “Let me see your jacket.” 

“What?” Jensen asked, confused. Jared’s fingers were fumbling with his own zipper, fighting to get his own jacket off. “Are you crazy?”

“Well…” Jared’s attempt at a joke fell short. “Just…Trust me… please?” 

Jensen closed his eyes. Trust me. Jensen didn’t know what that even meant anymore. The last time he had trusted someone, it had blown up in his face. Except… He opened his eyes, meeting Jared’s and reached up to unzip his old Army coat. His ‘ex’ wasn’t the last person he had trusted, he had trusted Jared the moment he had stepped away from the wrecked bus and followed him out into the cold. 

“Why?” He asked, handing over his jacket. A shiver ran through him as the freezing cold air hit his upper body.

“One sec…” Jared muttered, working quickly to match their jacket zippers together. Soon he was tugging Jensen’s zipper pull upward fastening Jared’s jacket to Jensen’s. “Okay, I think we should take off our shirts too, we can lay them under us as an extra layer. I don’t think there’s enough leaves…” Jensen blinked as Jared pulled his thick, thermal shirt over his head, dropping back down to all fours to spread it out flat inside their shelter. 

Maybe Jared was crazy. Jensen sighed, pulling his own long-sleeved, Henley off and handing it to Jared who in turn shoved one side of their “double jacket” over Jensen’s bare shoulders. 

“Keep the edges up so we can zip it around us. It’ll be like a shorty version of a two-man sleeping bag. Go ahead climb in and I’ll come in beside you.” 

Jensen nodded, crawling carefully backwards through the crack. His shoulder slammed into a small jut of rock and he winced as the pain rocked through him. Jared screwed up his face at seeing Jensen’s expression and warned him to be careful of his head. Moving slower, Jensen managed to get himself completely inside the cavity, glad the bottom of the little cave stayed just a wide in the back as it did at the front. 

“Scoot over,” Jared called, turning his body around so he could wiggle in beside Jensen. They struggled with their makeshift “sleeping bag” to pull it around them both. Once Jared was settled, he finagled himself around so he was able to zip the coats up completely. “Sharing body heat should keep us warmer.” Jared broke the silence when Jensen flinched as Jared wrapped a cool arm around his naked torso. 

“Yeah. I’ll take anything that can keep us warmer at this point.” He shifted slightly, the jackets constricting their movements. Although there was a rock digging painfully into his hip, and he could feel the cut on his leg and his shoulder was throbbing, Jensen felt himself relaxing and was actually more comfortable and even warmer pressed up against Jared. Maybe that was just the cold talking and the relief of finally being off of his feet. 

“So… any girlfriend I’m going to make jealous when they find out I had you half-naked?” Jared’s soft chuckle rolled through him. 

“I… recently ended a relationship. He... I caught him cheating on me and it ended up costing me everything.”

“I’m sorry Jensen… that’s pretty shitty...” Jared murmured softly, tightening his hold around Jensen’s body. “Relationships are a joke. They never work. People aren’t meant to fully depend on another person, they’re not meant to partner off. People use each other for personal gain, for survival, and that’s okay. Otherwise? We’re just kidding ourselves. The idea that there’s one perfect person out there… Please... That one perfect person will screw the neighbor or fall out of love with you the moment you let your guard down.”

“I take it _you_ were burned before?” Jensen asked, finding Jared’s hand on his stomach and rubbing it between his two hands, warming it like Jared had done for him that morning. He felt a shiver go through Jared’s body at the contact and Jensen himself was already feeling warmer. 

“No,” Jared replied calmly. “I’ve never let anything get that far. I watched my parents’ marriage fall apart when I was a kid, my older brother and sister both go through their own heart breaks… friends and family and I can’t tell you one relationship I’ve seen that has lasted for any real length of time or been really happy. I mean, your ‘ex’ was a douche, but that’s how it goes. People cheat and lie and move on.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s not worth it…” Jensen let his hands fall still, gripping onto Jared tightly. “I think not even trying…? That would be probably really lonely.”

“Just because I don’t have romantic relationships doesn’t mean I don’t have friends,” Jared chuckled again, the vibrations rippling through Jensen as the sound washed over him in their small space. “I have companionship; people that I know will have my back and sometimes I can score great sex with no attachments.”

“But don’t you ever feel like you really want to get to know someone?” Jensen asked, shaking his head. “I mean, out of all those people, no one has ever piqued your interest enough to… to want something more?”

Jensen could feel the rise and fall of Jared’s chest against his back and he could practically feel the tension radiating off of him. He opened his mouth, about to apologize if he had crossed any lines, when Jared spoke. 

“Once,” he said softly, fingers dancing in circles along Jensen’s stomach. “I never made a move though.”

“Why not?” Jensen asked, just as softly, closing his eyes and focusing on the feeling of the pads of Jared’s fingertips ghosting across his skin. 

“I… I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to or not.” Jared said finally, hands stilling. Jensen was surprised at how warm his skin felt where Jared touched it, and he moved his hand to cover Jared’s giving it a small squeeze.

“Do you regret it?” he whispered, tracing his fingers up and down Jared’s own, feeling the other man shiver behind him. Jared tightened his hold, moving them closer together in their jacket cocoon. 

“The right time never presented itself, you know?” Jared shifted so his breath was hot against Jensen’s ear, a few stray strands of damp hair falling against Jensen’s cheek and neck. “Maybe one day the time will be right.” 

Jensen could feel Jared’s heartbeat racing against his back and it sent his own mind into overdrive. He closed his eyes and let himself be surrounded by Jared – his warmth, his body, his arms. There was a very real possibility they weren’t going to make it out of this. His entire body ached and his head was spinning slightly – from blood loss, lack of food or dehydration, he wasn’t sure.

What he was sure of was Jared’s palm, pressed flat against his stomach, grounding him and the chill that was seeping through to their bones from the rock walls encasing them. He was sure that he was bone-tired and exhausted, battered and broken in more ways than physical. And he was sure, that in some strange twist of fate, he knew what Jared had yet to say. 

He moved his hand up Jared’s arm, fingers digging into Jared’s well-muscled shoulder and giving him the leverage he needed to turn. His body was twisted awkwardly, his shoulder screamed in protest, but when his lips met Jared’s it all fell away. 

Jared was warm, soft and alive. Jensen couldn’t get enough. A small sound escaped from his throat as Jared twisted them around, freeing Jensen’s arm from the strange angle it was at to press him flat against the ground, leaning his own body over Jensen’s, careful not to push against any of Jensen’s injuries. 

Jensen gave him permission when he turned around and pressed their lips together, and he was satisfied when Jared took control of the kiss. The kiss was soft but demanding as Jared’s teeth scraped against Jensen’s bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth. Jensen groaned, hands clutching at Jared’s back, holding them even closer together. 

Jared took his time licking into Jensen’s mouth, exploring and tasting. 

Jensen kissed Jared back with everything he had, chasing away the fears of their situation with the wet heat of Jared’s mouth. Part of Jensen wanted to crawl inside of Jared and never, ever leave. This small cave could be their new reality… it could be just the two of them, just like this.

Never, in all the years he had spent with his ex, had he ever been kissed like _this_. The space between them was suddenly too wide, the air surrounding them too hot, and Jensen never wanted to leave. 

“Jared,” he whispered, crushing their lips together once again. His hands trailed down Jared’s back, muscles shifting under his touch. Jared made a pained noise and pulled back, pushing on the back of the jacket to roll them slightly so they were on their sides, facing one another. 

“Not like this, Jensen,” Jared whispered, leaning forward to kiss him softly before wrapping his arms around his back and holding him close.

“Why?” Jensen asked, breathing hard. He leaned his head against Jared’s chest allowing himself to be pulled in closer. Jared’s heartbeat was echoing beneath his ear and Jensen let his eyes fall closed. When Jared spoke again, his voice sounded strained and Jensen peered up at him.

“We’re not going to do this here… not now. We’re not giving up, Jensen, okay? When we get out of this, have had a warm shower and some good food? Then we will... Not here, not in this stupid cave, waiting to… to…” Jared shook his head firmly, refusing to speak ‘that word’ and kissed Jensen’s forehead gently. 

Pausing for a few moments to catch a few calming breaths, Jared looked down and then deeply into Jensen’s eyes. “I swear to you we’re going to be okay. We are getting out of this.” With a sigh he began to wiggle his right arm against the jackets’ fabric, “Um… hey, I guess I’ll need to slide one of my arms into a coat-sleeve though, so I can continue to feed the fire once in a while, okay?” 

After Jensen had helped him to do so, Jared reached out to stoke the fire once more and get a good amount of heat generated. Turning to Jensen with a soft smile and a sweet kiss on the lips, he murmured gently, “I meant what I said, Jen. We’re going to make it out of this alive… Get some sleep. I’ll keep an eye out. Keep the home fires burning.” 

Jensen nodded and tucked his head softly against Jared’s chest letting the steady thump of the other man’s heart beat lull him to sleep. He dreamt of the cold. He was standing in the middle of an ice-covered lake with the ice starting to creep up his legs. He was frozen to the spot, unable to move. The ice spread slowly up his legs, crept like a serpent up his body to begin to cover his neck, and he struggled against its confines knowing that once it reached his head he would be fighting to breathe. It was consuming him, leaving him powerless. Then, just as the ice started to form over his face, he felt heat spreading through his body. He gasped, his eyes flying open and dancing wildly around in the darkness. 

“Hey, you okay?” Jared’s voice was calm, soft against his ear and he could feel Jared’s hands running circles over his bare chest. Jensen nodded, his breathing still coming in deep gasps as he met Jared’s eyes, brightly illuminated by their small fire. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” he whispered and forced himself to concentrate on slowing his breathing back down to a normal rate. It would do nothing for them if he started having a panic attack in their small den. Jared seemed to sense his rising panic, however, and soon his lips were against Jensen’s, kissing away the remnants of the dream. “You should get some sleep,” Jensen said after a moment as Jared pulled away from his lips. 

“Yeah, okay,” Jared smiled in agreement. “I think we’re about halfway through the night…” Jensen followed his gaze out of the cave opening and blinked against the fire’s glare to look at the small bit of sky he could see. 

“You let me sleep that long? We’re in this together. Let me pull my share…” he accused, looking back to Jared who shrugged. 

“You needed it.” It went unspoken that Jared needed it too. Jensen quietly helped pull Jared’s arm free of the sleeve and they twisted around a bit so Jensen’s arm was now the one able to stoke the fire whenever its heat began to dwindle. Jared shifted slightly, pressing his one knee between Jensen’s and winding his arms around the younger man’s waist as he pressed his face against Jen’s bare chest. His breath was hot against Jensen’s skin and it made him shivered in Jared’s arms. 

Jared’s breath soon evened out making the younger man feel more at ease. After adding a few more branches to their fire, Jensen spent his time studying Jared’s sleeping face. The other man looked so calm, so peaceful as he slept with his cheek flush against Jensen’s chest. Jensen couldn’t deny he had missed this kind of familiarity… 

Slowly, he used his free hand to brush his knuckles against Jared’s cheek. Jared’s eyes flickered behind his lids, but he was otherwise still. Jensen’s breath caught as he realized how comfortable he felt, wrapped around this half-naked stranger. Jared was beautiful and strong, and he had a hell of a lot more self-assurance than Jensen himself possessed. Maybe…. Maybe when they were out of here, if they managed to get themselves rescued…. Maybe Jared would reconsider his ‘no-relationship’ rule. 

Jensen smiled as he heard the deep rumbling of Jared snoring, glad the man was able to rest so peacefully. Then, as the rumbling grew louder, he looked down at Jared, confused. Jared’s lips were still, and closed… the deep rumbling was not coming from Jared. 

Jensen felt his heart rate pick up. What if it was a bear? The thought flew across Jensen’s mind and he felt his heart thudding within his chest. He was being ridiculous… Jared had said there wouldn’t be bears… but… didn’t bears live in caves? Jensen held his breath, cocking his head closer towards the mouth of the cave, listening. 

The rumbling got louder, more… motorized? Jensen gasped, wriggling out of Jared’s sleepy hold to push his body closer to the opening. 

“Jensen?” Jared murmured his voice thick with sleep. He reached between them, rubbing at his eyes, but awkwardly pushed himself upright to peer outside with Jensen. “What’s wrong? What…”

“Shhh… Do you hear that?” Jensen whispered, wishing his heart would stop pounding so frantically in his chest. He could hear it echoing in his mind, he could feel it pulsing through the cut in his thigh. “Jared, do you hear that?”

Jared gasped, struggling to get them out of the confines of the jackets. “Come on! Get up Jen!” Jared ripped the jackets open and once freed, used one of the bigger branches to push the fire back, giving him the access he needed to crawl out of the cave. He reached down waiting for Jensen to hand him the jackets before following them out himself. Jared held out a hand to haul Jensen to his feet and then ducked back down to grab their shirts, hats and gloves. They struggled into their warmer, drier clothing quickly and looked out across the snowy field before them. 

“Come on, come on,” Jared was chanting under his breath, his arms wrapped around himself. 

Jensen could see his breath puffing with each word and he crossed his fingers as he tucked them under his arm pits. It had to be a motor, it _had_ to be. _God,_ he begged silently, _please let it be a motor…_

“Jared,” Jensen’s voice cracked as a dim light crept through the tree line to their left, casting light shadows over where they stood. Slowly the dim light shone brighter. He shifted closer, reaching out and finding Jared’s hand as Jared had been reaching for his. Their gloved fingers threaded together and Jensen whispered his name again, “Jared!” 

“Headlights! Snowmobile headlights, Jen!” Jared whispered back excitedly, before releasing Jensen’s hand and stumbling forward, away from their ice cave wall and started flailing his arms frantically above his head all the while screaming. “Hey! Hey! We’re over here! Hey! Help!”

Jensen felt rooted to the spot, the ice holding him there frozen as a statue. The headlights spun in their direction, they could hear deep voices calling out over the noise of the vehicles. They were going to be rescued. Relief washed dizzily over him, melting the ice from his limbs, and he stumbled up beside Jared, reaching out to cling to his side. 

It seemed like they stood there for ages, staring in disbelief as three sleek snowmobiles came gliding over the drifts of snow to finally stop a few yards away from them, the noisy engines breaking through the snowy silence. 

“Hey! You guys okay?” the first snowmobiler asked, swinging his leg over the side of the vehicle and ripping off his helmet. Underneath he wore a ski mask, but his blue eyes were shining with concern as he eyed the two stranded men before him. 

“Thank God,” Jared was shaking beside him, his resolve starting to crack and Jensen grabbed his arm tighter, afraid Jared would pitch forward if he released his hold. “We were on the bus…”

“We didn’t think there were any survivors,” the man nodded, turning around to look at one of the other rescuers. “Call it in, Steve.”

The second man, Steve, nodded and pulling his helmet off so he could radio back the news of the team’s discovery. Jensen looked over the man before him, noticing the logo on the breast of his ski jacket: Maine Fish and Game Officer. 

“We looked over the bus’s passenger roster and saw there were two bodies unaccounted for… we had hoped… but didn’t expect after the rapid temperature drop last night…. Good thing you boys stayed close to the wreckage.”

Jensen nodded absently and started to feel like he was shaking apart. His ears started ringing and although the officer was still talking, he couldn’t hear a word. Drifting as if in a dream, he allowed himself to be lead to a snowmobile, felt someone gently but firmly manhandle his body onto the seat, and then held on as if his life depended on it when he was instructed to do so. 

Jared was on the back of another snowmobile traveling beside him and Jensen threw a look over his shoulder and met Jared’s half-lidded eyes, squinting against the rising sun before them. He tightened his hold on the driver’s waist and closed his eyes. They were saved.

“Mr. Ackles?” the nurse knocked on his door and entered the hospital room with a smile on her face. Jensen pushed himself up higher in the bed and smiled back at her. “I think we’re going to get you out of here today, what do you think about that?” He had spent the last three days in the hospital – his leg had needed stitches and he’d been started on an antibiotic to fight the infection that had localized in the wound. Jared had set his shoulder almost perfectly, so with ice – much to Jensen’s dismay— along with a nice supply of pain medication, his shoulder was going to be fine.

He was dehydrated. He had hypothermia. But he was alive. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?” he shook his head and focused back on the nurse, embarrassed he had zoned out. 

She smiled and patted his hand before repeating herself, “I asked if you had anyone that would be able to take you home?”

“Yes,” a voice came from the doorway and Jensen’s eyes snapped upward, his heart leaping into his throat. Jared leaned against the door frame, a small smile on his lips as he met Jensen’s eyes. The taller man looked good, a pink blush over his cheeks, his hair falling gently around his face and he lifted a hand to push it back behind his ears, hazel eyes never leaving Jensen’s face. “I’ll make sure he gets home alright.” 

Jensen nodded, giving the nurse the approval she needed, but was too afraid to speak. When he had awoken the first night and asked about Jared, he had been told the nurses were only allowed to share a patient’s information with family members. He had been devastated, fearing he would never see the man again. 

“Alright, I’ll go and get the paperwork ready,” she beamed at the two of them and patted Jensen’s arm once more before slipping past Jared and out of the room.

“Hey,” Jared stepped into the room, taking the few steps his long stride required to rest at Jensen’s bedside. 

“Hey,” Jensen breathed out, reaching out for Jared’s hand. “I didn’t think… I mean… how are you?”

“Bruised and beat up. Nothing new, really,” Jared laughed, all the while squeezing Jensen’s hand gently. “I hope you don’t mind my offer to take you home… I know you had mentioned you just moved up here. And I may or may not have been stalking around the waiting room to try and overhear the nurses’ conversations to see what was going on with you. Is that too creepy?”

“It’s a bit creepy,” Jensen nodded, chuckling. “I asked about you too, you know. They wouldn’t give me any information.”

“Do you already have a place around here where you’re supposed to be staying?” Jared sank down on the side of the bed and Jensen shifted his leg over to give Jared the room he needed. A shiver went through him as Jared rubbed small circles with his thumb across the back of Jensen’s hand, the action done completely absent-mindedly as Jared was speaking. 

“No,” Jensen shook his head. “Once we got to the station in Oxbow I was planning on getting a rental and driving the rest of the way to Ashland…”

“Well, you’re more than welcome to come to my place in Oxbow, if you want,” Jared offered, shrugging nonchalantly, though Jensen could feel his body tense against the mattress and the circling on his hand stilled. 

“I would appreciate that,” Jensen replied softly, squeezing his hand again. “I was planning on getting a hotel in Ashland anyways, I didn’t really think the whole… getting a job or place to live thing through…. I kind of just… packed up and left.”

“Well,” Jared started and then smiled, large dimples that Jensen hadn’t noticed before, flashing. “You really didn’t think this through at all, did you?”

Jensen punched his shoulder and found himself laughing along with Jared, feeling freer than he had in months despite being stuck in a hospital bed. They waited for the nurse to come back to the room with the required paperwork and passed the time talking about Jared’s company and what he had learned about their rescue. 

“I guess my guys were concerned when I didn’t call like I was supposed to when the bus got to Oxbow… Apparently the bus company just assumed we were running late because of the snow and hadn’t reported anything yet. My guys called the bus station a few times before they finally got annoyed enough to try and radio our bus themselves. When there was no answer, they put things into motion and the authorities figured out the bus had gone off the road.” 

Jensen nodded, listening as Jared explained how the Fish and Game officers had been the only ones able to get down to the bus by riding their snowmobiles and how Jared and Jensen must have ended up walking in circles for most of the day because the rock cliff they had taken shelter in had actually been part of a frontage road not far off the highway they had been driving on. “We were literally five hundred yards from the road,” Jared shook his head. “Can you believe that? About a third of a damned mile! God, I feel like such an idiot!”

“Well, we made it,” Jensen shrugged and gave Jared a smile. “That’s all that really matters, Jared. We were in whiteout conditions and neither of us could see a damned thing! So… Don’t beat yourself up too badly. You kept us alive in a near blizzard in 20 degree temps. That makes you pretty damned awesome by my standards.” 

Jared nodded quietly, looking a bit embarrassed over Jensen’s praise and then leaned forward and pressed his lips against Jensen’s. His lips were warm and soft and Jensen found himself opening up, and kissing Jared back with everything he had.

“Thank you,” he whispered, breathing hard when they broke the kiss and pressing their foreheads together. 

“For what?” Jensen breathed out, licking his lower lip and chasing the taste of Jared’s kiss.

“Really, Jen… I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had been all alone out there… I’m just… is it bad that I’m glad you were with me?” Jensen replied by kissing him again.

They drove the three hours to Jared’s house in comfortable silence, the sounds of the soft rock station soothing Jensen’s scattered thoughts as he watched the snowy forests and fields slide past them. A few times during the drive, snow started falling softly, and he could feel the car slowing and saw Jared’s hands clench the steering wheel a little tighter, his knuckles turning as white as the flakes outside.

Jensen shared the apprehension and fought the urge to reach out and take Jared’s hand in his own, knowing that distracting him in anyway would be less of a comfort and more of a stressor—for both of them. 

When they finally reached Jared’s house, located on a small ranch with 15-acre plot of land, both of them relaxed instantly as the car came to a total stop. Turning off the engine Jared climbed out of the car and waited for Jensen to join him. They climbed the porch steps and walked to the front door together. He unlocked the door and pushed it open, motioning for Jensen to go in first. 

“Through that doorway is the kitchen,” Jared was saying as he flicked on the lights. Jensen kicked off his boots before following Jared further into the house. “Bathroom is over there, and of course, this is the living room,” they moved together through the bottom floor, Jared pointing out different rooms and telling Jensen to make himself at home. They made their way upstairs and Jensen felt his stomach flip as Jared pushed open the first door.

“This is the guest room,” he motioned into the darkened room and then turned to the door directly across the hallway. “And this is my room…” the air between them became heavy and Jensen swallowed hard before stepping up and meeting Jared’s eyes. Jared’s hand was shaking slightly against the door knob, the soft rattle of the metal the only sound. Jensen cleared his throat and then leaned forward to press his lips close to Jared’s ear.

“I… seem to recall you promising to finish what we started, once we were home, showered, and safe…”

“I remember saying something about food too,” Jared swallowed, his voice breaking and Jensen opened his mouth to comment when Jared’s hands slipped around his waist, silencing him. Jensen placed his hands on Jared’s chest and pushed Jared backwards into the room. Jared moved quickly, pulling Jensen along with him until the back of his knees hit the bed and they tumbled down onto the mattress, their lips finding one another’s as they fell. 

Jared felt _good_. He was warm and hard beneath him, the five o’clock shadow scratching against his chin as Jared kissed him, their mouths and tongues moving together. Jared’s teeth scraped against Jensen’s bottom lip, biting the flesh softly before slipping his tongue into Jensen’s open mouth, tongue pressing and claiming as it swept its way through. Jensen heard himself moan and Jared’s hands trailed down his back to grip his ass, grinding their hips together as he kissed him more deeply. 

“Fuck, Jared,” Jensen whispered against his lips, gasping as Jared rolled them so he was hovering over Jensen’s body. Jared smirked and started kissing his way down Jensen’s neck, biting down gently on the exposed skin. 

Jared took his time, slowly peeling away Jensen’s clothing, tasting and kissing every inch of skin he worked so hard to uncover. His hands trailed gently down Jensen’s sides and thighs, following the contours of his body, leaving a trail of heat wherever they touched. By the time Jensen was completely undressed, he was quivering in anticipation, his skin just as hot as Jared’s mouth trailing over him. Jared sat back on his heels, dropping the clothing he gripped in his hands to the floor and looked down at Jensen stripped bare before him.

“You’re so beautiful,” his voice was barely a whisper and Jensen exhaled sharply as he gazed upon Jared’s handsome face. The tall man’s pupils were almost fully dilated, his mouth slightly open, pink tongue running thoughtfully across his lower lip as his exotic-looking eyes drank in the sight of Jensen’s trim body. 

“Are you just going to stare at me all day?” Jensen challenged in mild frustration, shifting on the bed and drawing Jared’s attention to his aching cock, curved and leaking against his stomach. Jared moaned softly and ran his hands back up Jensen’s thighs, pushing them open so he could plant his knee between them and lean back up to kiss Jensen’s lips. 

“I could,” he smirked, pressing down against Jensen and making him gasp at the feeling of hard denim against his swollen flesh. “I could stare at you for hours… but I have something better in mind.”

“God, Jared, please…,” Jensen moaned into Jared’s mouth, his lips falling open as Jared’s tongue sought entrance. He slipped his tongue alongside Jared’s, fighting for dominance of the kiss. His hands trailed down Jared’s back, fingers digging into the corded muscles of his shoulders and arms as he brought the younger man closer, made the kiss deeper, and thrust his hips up hard against Jared’s. 

Jared laughed softly, breaking their kiss to start licking his way back down Jensen’s body. He stopped at his chest, repeatedly teasing a nipple into a tight, hard peak with his tongue before slipping it between his teeth. Jensen gasped at the sharp pressure and then groaned as Jared’s tongue soothed away the hurt. Jared’s hands made their way down to Jensen’s hips, pinning him against the mattress as he worked his way to Jensen’s cock. 

The drag of Jared’s stubble against the sensitive skin had Jensen crying out, pre-come oozing from the slit. Jared lapped at it, his tongue hot and wet against Jensen’s flesh. Jared’s fingers were digging into Jensen’s hips, massaging the muscle as he swallowed Jensen down, tongue working its way around Jensen’s shaft and slicking the way down his throat. 

Jensen arched his hips, hands gripping the sheets underneath him and a deep, pleasured groan rolling past his lips. Around his cock, Jared laughed, the vibrations sending shocks up Jensen’s spine. 

“You taste so good,” Jared whispered, pulling back to release Jensen. Cool air hit the spit slick skin, causing Jensen to shiver, despite the heat coursing through him. He looked down the length of his body and his breath caught in his throat as he saw Jared on his knees between Jensen’s thighs looking back up at him, pink tongue running along his lower lip once again, chasing the taste of his lover. 

“Damn, Jared…” Jensen moaned and reached his hands forward, his fingers gently twisting into Jared’s hair as Jared sucked him back down. Jensen could feel his hips flexing under Jared’s ministrations, his talented mouth working at bringing Jensen right up to the edge before suddenly backing off, a wicked chuckle once again in his throat. 

Jared slipped off slowly, trailing kisses back up Jensen’s stomach and chest until they were flush against each other once again and Jared could reach easily into the night stand. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since that night,” Jared whispered, breathing hot against his ear. “I can admit it now… I didn’t suggest taking off half your clothes only to help keep you warm, you know.” Jensen burst out laughing, shoving at Jared’s shoulder playfully. Jared kissed him deeply, placing the bottle of lube and condom he got from the drawer on the bed beside them. 

“Oh yeah, shivering and bleeding, that sure was sexy as hell,” Jensen smiled against Jared’s lips, letting him pull back to meet his eyes. 

“Even so,” Jared’s voice was soft and something flashed in his eyes that had Jensen’s stomach flipping. Before he could decipher it fully, however, it was gone and Jared had moved away to sit back on his heels once more, slowly pulling off his clothing piece by piece, smirking as Jensen watched the entire show. 

Although Jensen had felt nearly every inch of Jared’s bare arms and chest that night in their shelter, seeing him now, in full light, had Jensen choking on the air he was trying to breathe. Jared smirked and Jensen was sure he was flexing his muscles just for his benefit. Jensen licked his lower lip and trailed his eyes down, watching as Jared slowly freed himself from his jeans until he was completely naked and crawling up over Jensen again. 

“Jared,” Jensen breathed out against Jared’s lips when the other man claimed his again, their bodies completely flush against one another, chest to chest, hips to hips. Jared’s cock was thick, long and hot and digging almost painfully against the jut of Jensen’s hip and Jensen was sure he had never _wanted anyone_ so badly in all of his life. 

“I’m going to open you up nice and slow,” Jared’s breath was hot against his ear, his fingers skating down Jensen’s sides until they slipped under Jensen’s body and dug into the globes of his ass. “I’m going to push you to the edge with just my fingers inside of you. Then I want you to ride me, Jensen, I want to see you take my entire cock and ride it. What do you think about that?” He clenched his fingers, pulling Jensen’s ass cheeks apart for emphasis, his mouth kissing and nipping down the side of Jensen’s throat.

“Fuck, yes, Jared,” Jensen bucked his hips up and he could feel Jared smirking against his skin. Jared’s hands were suddenly gone as the man moved back and reached beside them for the bottle of lubricant. He popped the cap open, the sound sending a jolt through Jensen’s body as he anticipated what was coming next. He let his legs fall open and Jared was immediately there, a slicked up finger slowly sinking into the tight heat and they groaned in unison. 

Jared kept his word, moving excruciatingly slow as he worked his finger in and out of Jensen’s body, pressing and twisting while his mouth worked its way across Jensen’s chest, licking and nipping and marking any bit of flesh he could with bright red marks. Jensen looked down his body, Jared’s fingers working between his legs and his chest flushed with Jared’s bites, and he groaned. He knew that in a few hours, the marks would disappear but seeing them there on his skin now? Had his cock twitching and his heart racing. 

Jared added a second finger, scissoring and twisting them. He slipped further down Jensen’s body and slipped his mouth back over Jensen’s cock, moaning at the taste. Jensen fisted the sheets and forced himself not to buck up into the wet heat of Jared’s mouth. When the pads of Jared’s fingers brushed against the bundle of nerves deep inside, Jensen lost all control and jerked up with a gasp. 

“You’re so fucking sexy, Jensen,” Jared whispered, pressing his chin against Jensen’s hip so he could look up Jensen’s body. Jensen met his eyes and shuddered at the look he saw there. Slowly, Jared added a third finger and together they watched as Jared moved them in and out, slow and teasing, until Jensen swore out loud that he thought he was going to die. 

Jared laughed and pulled back, reaching for the condom and sheathing his own length before lying down on his back and reaching for Jensen. Later, Jensen would be embarrassed at the way he had scrambled up to his knees and blanketed himself over Jared’s body, claiming the other man’s mouth with his own and taking back control. But now, Jensen didn’t care about anything except for sinking down and making them move as one. 

“Jensen!” Jared’s voice broke as Jensen moved up high onto his knees, positioned himself and then slowly lowered his body down onto Jared’s cock, his hands pressed flat against Jared’s stomach for leverage. Jared’s hands flew up, one gripping Jensen’s hip and the other digging into his thigh. Jensen groaned, throwing his head back at the too-full feeling of having Jared buried deep inside of him. 

Jared pressed his feet into the mattress, his knees rising and shifting Jensen’s hips and rocking him forward. Jensen moaned and reached back for Jared’s knee, using it to lift himself up before slamming back down again. Jared let out a keening sound that had Jensen’s heart shattering and he wanted nothing more than to hear Jared make that sound again. His eyes trailed over the fine sheen of sweat across Jared’s chest and stomach, the tall man’s hair splayed out across the pillow and exposing every inch of his face, allowing Jensen to see every expression that passed over it. 

He rocked his hips forward, sliding his body up and down Jared’s length, his own cock bouncing against his stomach with each bob of his hips. Jared’s hand trailed up Jensen’s thigh and long fingers wrapped around his dick, both men moving in unison and working in a seamless rhythm. Jensen wasn’t sure if he was the one moaning or if it was Jared, but the sound of their flesh moving against one another and the feeling of Jared’s hands and body surrounding him, had Jensen falling apart. 

“Jared….damn… Harder!” he cried and Jared shifted his hips, bucking up to meet each one of Jensen’s downward thrusts, as sparks of pleasure were dancing their way through Jensen’s lower body. 

“Yeah, fuck… just like that, Jensen,” Jared moaned, his grip tightening as he slid his palm over the head of Jensen’s dick before jacking back down in time with the roll of Jensen’s hips. “You look so fucking hot, Jensen, feel so fucking good. Come on Jensen, come for me baby.”

“Unngh!” Jensen moaned, the sound rolling from deep inside of his chest. Jared’s large, slick fist slid over him once more and he came with a shout, spilling hot and white between them, covering Jared’s chest with his release. Jared’s eyes rolled back at the sight and he followed only seconds later, his hips stuttering in their final journey upwards and his hand releasing Jensen’s twitching dick to grip his hips tightly and keep them joined together. 

When Jared collapsed back into the mattress, Jensen followed, not caring about the sweat or come that was now sandwiched between them. His chest was rising and falling in time with Jared’s, his head felt light and fuzzy, and he shivered when Jared’s arms moved to wrap around his body and hold them closer together.

Jared kissed his face and his throat softly, the thoughtful, nearly reverent press of his lips against Jensen’s sweaty skin had Jensen trembling in his arms. It was a move so unnecessary and yet, so perfect that Jensen never wanted to let this go.

“What are you saying?” Jensen winced as his mother’s voice broke across the phone, panic clear in her voice. He could vaguely hear his father questioning her in the background and he hurried on, hoping that his wouldn’t turn into one of _those_ conversations.

“There was a bus accident…” he started again, picking at a worn stitch on the steering wheel of his rental car. He was parked before the Dalton Inn, Bed and Breakfast, the only hotel he could find in Ashland. The couple was nice, from what he had already experienced, and were quick to make sure he was settled comfortably in his room after showing him where he could find the kitchen and common areas. He smiled and thanked them and escaped to the car as soon as he could to get this phone call done and over with.

“Jensen Ross! I heard that part! What I don’t understand is why this is the first time I’ve heard of it!”

“I just… had a lot of things I had to deal with. I’m _fine_ , Mom. And you can let Dad know too before he blows a gasket.” He could hear both his father’s voice and tone rising in the background and sighed as he leaned back against the seat. He quickly explained the crash, leaving out most of the details of how he and Jared had wandered around in the snow half the night, and reassured his mother, _again_ , that he was fine. His shoulder was fine and his cut was healing and he was _fine._

“Maybe you should just come home…” her voice was a whisper, but Jensen could hear her just fine over the phone line. His heart sank and he sighed. 

“I’ll be home for Easter,” he offered and returned to picking at the thread. “I’m beat though… I did a lot of driving today. I’m going to head inside and unpack but I’ll call you and Dad tomorrow, okay?” He ended the call and placed the phone on his thigh, staring at the darkening screen.

He had spent over a week at Jared’s house, getting to know the other man both in the bedroom and out. Jared had managed to take time off from work due to their wilderness experience, but when Jared had mentioned needing to go out on location… Jensen knew it was time. He had shrugged his shoulders, acted like he was ready anyways, and worked on packing up the things that he had managed to have scattered in every single room of the house. 

Jared had made love to him that night, slow and silent and they had fallen asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms. Or, Jared had anyways. Jensen couldn’t sleep. Jared was once against curled up against his chest as he had been in their cave, his breath hot and damp against Jensen’s bare skin, and Jensen was surprised when he started struggling to breathe. 

His heart caught in his throat, choking him as he watched the beautiful man sleep. Jared‘s eyelids flickered in the dim light from the hallway and Jensen hoped that whatever he was dreaming of was beautiful and perfect, just like Jared himself was. Jensen had closed his eyes, tried to force himself to sleep, but couldn’t stop thinking that tomorrow he would be walking away from _something_ worth having. 

Now, almost three hours away from where Jared was probably just getting home from work, Jensen felt an ache deep in his bones. He had spent a week attached to Jared – laughing with him, eating with him, talking with him and… falling in love with him. It was crazy, really and truly crazy, but Jensen felt the realization like a punch to the gut. 

Maybe it was because of the crash, being thrown together in a life or death situation. Maybe it was impossible to nearly freeze to death and be forced to entrust your life and ability to survive to a stranger you had only just met without falling in love with that person when you accomplished that nearly impossible feat together. Jensen didn’t know, and he wasn’t too keen on testing the theory. All he really knew was that when he walked into the room they had given him at the inn, the large queen-sized bed was already icy and cold, reminding him that he was truly alone. 

Sighing, Jensen pushed himself back out of the car and made his way back into the lovely old house. He smiled at the inn keepers, agreed that he would join them for dinner, and made his way to his room. He left the lights off and his clothes on and moved to lie on top of the bedclothes. He shivered against the chill in the room but closed his eyes and waited for darkness to take him.

_Jared: Yeah, I miss you too._

Jensen stared at the text message, his heart beating wildly in his chest. It had been two months since the accident and almost as long since he had physically seen Jared. 

He was still living at the Inn, but had found a job at the local school working in the office as an accounting manager-secretary… thingy. He wasn’t actually sure what his job title was; the small town school had more positions open then they had people, and Jensen had allowed them to pile on responsibility after responsibility – anything to help pass the time. But it got him out of the inn early enough in the morning that he wasn’t sleeping his days away and gave him enough work to do on the laptop he was given to keep him busy at the inn before bed. 

Jared had started to text him; snap shooting pictures of the locations he was on… a selfie of his joyful grin when he got permission to expand his business into Oxbow… quick snaps of a beer or three when Jared was feeling particularly lonely. It was those last ‘sort of lonely’ messages that had Jensen’s heart twisting in his chest, Jared’s words from the cave ringing in his head, _‘I have companionship; people that I know will have my back and sometimes I can score great sex with no attachments.’_

Jensen spent those nights picturing Jared wrapped around an attractive blonde or brunette that he had picked up at the bar after he was finished texting Jensen. His stomach rolled painfully and he forced himself to flick off the phone, to resist the urge to text Jared and ask him. He really didn’t want to know the answer. 

But today… Jensen had sent Jared a picture of the new, thick gloves he found in his room, a thoughtful gift given to him by the inn keepers. He told Jared that they made him think of that freezing night in the wilderness, how he wished he had them on that night, and wanted to know if Jared had managed to get better gloves for himself now that he was out on location so often, getting everything settled. 

Then Jared texted him _that_. Without even thinking, Jensen was up and moving. School had been released early that day and Friday was a free-day due to teacher workshops. Since Jensen didn’t _actually_ teach anything, he was just as free as the students. He barely registered what he was doing as he packed a few things into a backpack, rushed down the stairs and waved to the innkeepers and other patrons in the dining room, hurriedly telling them he would be back by Monday. He had slipped behind the wheel of the car and was driving out of town and back onto the high way, back to Oxbow and to Jared. 

Now, Jensen’s hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. He had made it all the way to Oxbow and driven up Jared’s long driveway but hadn’t managed to put the car in park. Instead, he sat idling behind Jared’s car. He knew Jared was home, knew that if he glanced out the front window he would see Jensen sitting in the driveway looking like an idiot. And suddenly Jensen realized that maybe he was fooling himself, maybe this _was_ all a monumental mistake… he hadn’t been thinking this through at all... 

But he couldn’t deny the feelings he harbored for the man. Couldn’t deny the way his body ached at being apart from him or the way his mind was constantly making excuses to twist his thoughts so that anything and everything somehow reminded him of Jared. Couldn’t deny the way his heart skipped a beat as he had read those three simple words on his phone. 

He wasn’t even sure what he was doing here. Jared had been clear in the cave, had mentioned it a few times in the week they’d spent together how against relationships he was, and Jensen _couldn’t_ love him; it would be ridiculous. Jensen inhaled sharply as the realization hit him in the gut. He was falling for Jared, easily. Hell, he had been all along. And his stupid heart was clouding his mind, giving him hope that maybe… just _maybe_ Jared was feeling just a little something for him as well. Wasn’t that what motivated him to drive all the way back to Oxbow without thinking of the consequences of showing up on Jared’s doorstep unannounced? 

Exhaling slowly, Jensen knew he had to get out of the car. He threw the car into park and turned off the ignition, dropping the keys into the center console. Step one, down. 

Jensen’s hands were shaking as he reached for the door handle. Although it felt like he was moving through thick sludge, ice slowly climbing back through his limbs and weighing him down, he was standing at Jared’s door much sooner than he was ready for. He raised his hand to knock, and then held his breath.

“Jensen?” Jared opened the door, his eyes wide with shock as a smile appeared on his lips. “What… what are you doing here?”

“I… I…” Jensen faltered, his lips tried to move but nothing was coming out. It wasn’t like he could say, ‘you said you missed me and I haven’t been able to breathe properly since I left you’.

“Come in,” Jared smiled and reached for his hand, pulling him over the threshold and into his arms. Jensen felt himself relax into the embrace; Jared’s arms felt strong, safe and sure. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just… wanted to see you,” Jensen stammered quickly and watched as Jared shut the door behind them and made his way into the kitchen, with Jensen trailing after him feeling like a pathetic lost puppy. 

“I was just making some chili,” Jared said, waving his arm towards a large pot bubbling away on the stove. “Hungry?”

“Yeah,” Jensen nodded and slipped onto one of the barstools, watching as Jared reached up for an extra bowl, his shirt riding up and exposing a beautiful strip of muscular flesh. Jensen steeled himself and closed his eyes. “Jared?” He was pleased his voice sounded steadier than how he was feeling inside. 

“Yeah?” Jared tossed a glance over his shoulder and stilled when he saw the expression on Jensen’s face. Slowly, he placed the bowls on the counter and made his way to the dining island, leaning against it and studying Jensen’s face carefully. 

“I want…” Jensen sighed, closing his eyes for a moment to collect his thoughts. 

“Jensen, you’re scaring me,” Jared reached for Jensen’s arm, his long, calloused fingers wrapping around his forearm. 

“Jared, I miss you. I can’t stop thinking about you,” the words gushed from Jensen’s lips. 

Jared pulled his hand back as if Jensen’s arm was on fire, his eyes wide as he stared at Jensen. 

But Jensen had already started, his words hanging thickly in the space between them, and there was no pulling them back now. “All the time, Jared… I think about you all the time. I end up texting you every morning when I wake up, I wait for your replies like they’re my life line. When people ask me about the accident, I talk about you and how brave and strong and handsome you are. I think of the week I spent here and how… how I can’t remember being that happy in so long. So fucking long…”

“What do you want from me, Jensen?” Jared’s voice was a mere whisper, his eyes flashing with something Jensen couldn’t decipher. 

“I want you, Jared, I want a real relationship with you,” he licked his lower lip and shook his head quickly when Jared opened his mouth to argue. “I know… I know you don’t _do_ relationships... I know you’re afraid of them, or wary of them, or whatever... but I want to try, Jared. You can’t deny this, what’s between us. I think it’s worth it, to try I mean. What could go wrong, Jared? What are you really afraid of?” Jensen felt his cheeks heat up at the pleading in his voice, and his eyes trailed up slowly, flicking across Jared’s face to watch the multitude of feelings cross his features.

“What could go wrong?!” Jared repeated in disbelief, pushing away from the island and running a hand through his hair. He spun back around to stare momentarily dumbstruck at Jensen, his lower lip caught between his teeth as if he were afraid to speak. He exhaled and then laughed, the sound both harsh and loud, making Jensen jump in his seat. 

“What could go wrong, Jensen? Everything, everything could go wrong. Right now, I enjoy your company. I like having you around. The sex is _fantastic_. But… all of that could change in an instant.” Jared shook his head again, his expression pleading with Jensen to understand. “Stupid, stupid things could ruin this. We could fight over dirty dishes, over who gets the left side of the bed and who gets the right side of the sink. Should we have kids? Or dogs? Both or neither? We would have a mortgage and electric bills, oil to buy, groceries and… and… fighting about money and sex and life all the time. Fighting until we don’t recognize ourselves anymore and we hate each other for it. Relationships aren’t real, Jensen, they don’t work. Please…”

“What if they don’t work because you haven’t found the right person?” Jensen interrupted him, but Jared only shook his head, his eyes squeezing shut. He looked pained and Jensen felt his heart clench knowing he was the reason for it. He swallowed hard, exhaled slowly. Then, “I’ll wash the dishes, if you’ll dry them,” Jensen whispered, waiting for Jared to blink his eyes open and look at him again. “You can have the left side of the bed, and the left sink to match it.”

“Jensen…” Jared murmured, but Jensen only continued.

“I love kids and I love dogs, and if you want them? We will have them. But if you don’t…? We both have brothers and sisters who will have nieces and nephews for me to spoil rotten. There will be a mortgage and all of the bills that go along with it, and arguments and disagreements and even some fighting...” Jensen pushed down off the stool and made his way around the island, slowly reaching for Jared and smiling when Jared let him. “I may end up sleeping on the couch a few times, and sometimes you’ll come and join me there. But, Jared, there will also be love and agreements and so much passion...and great make-up sex!” he paused to catch a breath. “I don’t even recognize myself anymore, Jared. Not since the accident. And I’m _glad_ for that because I don’t think that other ‘me’ ever would have survived and realized what he needed to see.”

“And what’s that?” Jared squeezed Jensen’s hands, looking down to meet Jensen’s eyes. 

“That I’m falling in love with you,” Jensen felt the shock that Jared’s face showed at the words being said aloud, but he knew they were true. “Relationships… they _are_ real. They’re hard and messy and a lot of work. But they’re real and they’re life and they’re part of living, Jared.”

Jared leaned forward, pressing his forehead against Jensen’s, his eyes squeezing shut again. Jensen held his breath, his hands shaking in Jared’s grasp. Jared let out a shaky breath and pulled away and out of Jensen’s reach, turning to lean over the sink with his back to Jensen. 

Jensen felt the rejection wash through him. The pain he had felt in his limbs out in the snow that night was nothing compared to the pain he felt searing through his body now. He felt tears forming at the back of his eyes, leaving him exposed and empty and cold. Jared’s head was bowed, defeated…and now Jensen felt exactly the same. 

Slowly, he turned on his heel and strode dejectedly towards the door. Jared’s silence was enough. He let himself out of the house and nearly tripped down the steps as he ran to his car. He opened the door and threw himself into the seat, his hands shaking violently as he fumbled for his keys. Hot tears blinded his vision as he struggled to fit the key in the ignition. This entire journey had been one huge mistake; he never should have gotten in the car and driven here. He had managed to ruin what little they had by pushing, pushing when he knew… he _knew_ how Jared felt… His car door was suddenly ripped open and he gasped, turning to see Jared, panting hard and leaning against the door, staring at him through fearful eyes. 

“I’m scared,” Jared’s voice was wrecked, thick with emotion and Jensen felt his heart skip a few beats. “I’m terrified of getting hurt. I have never felt this way about anyone before, Jensen. I’ve never let myself. I can’t… I don’t…” Jensen moved quickly, pushing himself back out of the car and into Jared’s arms. He didn’t think he could breathe the truth and promise and _hope_ in Jared’s words choking him. 

“We will figure it out Jared, we will figure it out together,” Jensen reached up to grip Jared’s jaw, turning his face towards him. “I can’t promise you that it’s going to be easy, or that we won’t end up being hurt at some point. But I can promise you I won’t hurt you on purpose and that I will work every day on this relationship with you to make it everything it needs to be, for both of us.”

“Sounds like a damned Lifetime movie,” Jared whispered, giving Jensen a small, wet smile. Jensen laughed and leaned forward, capturing Jared’s lips in a soft kiss. 

“I need to know, Jared…” his voice was hushed, nearly swallowed by Jared’s lips as the taller man kissed him back.

“Yes, Jensen,” Jared nodded, tightening his arms around Jensen’s back. “For you, I’ll try… yes.” 

Jensen laughed, the sound happy and free and let Jared lead him back into the house. They made their way upstairs, peeling off layers of clothing that left a trail in their wake all the way to the bedroom. Jensen whispered promises against Jared’s skin, telling the other man how beautiful he was, inside and out, how much he had come to depend on and trust Jared in their short time together. 

“Jesus, Jensen,” Jared groaned, throwing his head back as Jensen kitten-licked his way down Jared’s cock, his fingernails scraping along Jared’s sides and causing the other man to shiver. When Jensen pulled back up and moved to capture Jared’s lips, he was surprised to see the tearful expression on Jared’s face. 

“Jared?” He whispered, panic fluttering through his stomach as he searched Jared’s eyes. Jared simply shook his head, his hand cupping Jensen’s cheek and pulling him in for a soft kiss. 

“That night… I knew that night in the woods, that you were changing me,” he whispered, thumb stroking across Jensen’s cheek. “You crashed into _me_ , Jensen. You turned my entire world upside down.”

“I love you,” Jensen’s voice was hushed, Jared’s breathing hitched as he searched Jensen’s eyes, terrified and wide. He swallowed hard and nodded once, a small smile on his lips.

“I love you too, Jensen.”

Jensen fused their mouths together again, he couldn’t tell where he ended and where Jared began. Their collective gasps and moans were the only sounds that could be heard from the upstairs as Jared rocked into Jensen, claiming and marking him as his own. Jensen came with Jared’s name on his lips, seconds after Jared climaxed inside of him, and when they collapsed back onto the mattress, sated and breathing hard, Jared broke the silence, a smile in his voice. 

“Jensen?”

“Hmmm?” Jensen curled against Jared’s side, his fingertips trailing small circles over his stomach. 

“I want the right side of the bed...” 

Jensen laughed and pushed up on his elbow to find Jared’s lips.

“Deal,” he smiled and let himself be pulled into sleep, Jared’s arms wrapped tightly around him. He was warm, safe, and finally, truly happy.


End file.
